Hi I’m Deborah, an Author, Educator and Relationship Coach devoted to helping you to understand, and have amazing relationships with, the people in your life. (If you’re interested in all the boring bits about my qualifications, then click on Bio.)
I’m also a wife, mom (2), step-mum (2), mother in-law (of 2), Grammy (4), daughter (only 1), step-daughter (only 1), sister (I have two brothers), step-sister (have 3), aunt (15), niece (lost count), cousin (too many too count) and friend (4 besties and lots of others :-). To add to all of that I am also a Social Entrepreneur who created The Bears of Blueberry Forest book series (and soon to be TV-Series).
But first and foremost, I am me; a kind and curious soul who loves people, adventure and life in general. My favourite hobbies are reading, learning, writing, travelling and collecting soft toys as well as odd little fun things that I display in my kitchen. I was born and raised in South Africa, but moved to the UK just over 8 years ago after I met and married the love of my life Paul, who is a Brit.
The first question I get asked most when I meet someone new is, “what are you doing in the UK when you have such a lovely sunny beautiful home country”? My answer is always the same, “I moved here for love.”
The second question I get asked is how I came about doing what I do. Well besides my love of learning, I have always loved helping others. I barely turned 12 when I expressed an interest in becoming a Social Worker, working with children. As a teenager I became increasingly interested in human behaviour. I had been bullied for years and I wanted to understand why I had been treated that way. Years later after my first marriage ended, a relationship filled with strife, abuse and violence, my interest in human behaviour piqued even more. Seven years after I divorced my husband, I finally found help and attended counselling. It changed my life so drastically that I decided to change my career as well. I studied to be a Counsellor and then a Trainer and Coach. I wrote my first book and ‘fell into Speaking’ after it launched when I was invited to talk about it at various events around the country. I loved my work, nothing felt more fulfilling than helping other people. To me it was a dream come true….however, my personal life was still a mess.
Not only was I having problems with my love relationships, but my relationships with my family and friends were also in turmoil. I had endless financial problems and as a single mom I constantly struggled to make ends meet. I got married again twice and subsequently went through another divorce and an annulment before I finally woke up to what the root cause of all my problems were, ME!
Up until then I went through life in a ‘semi-conscious’ survival state of mind. I realised that I never knew who I was, nor what I wanted. I did not love myself, I didn’t even like myself! My unconscious mind with all its bad programming and irrational beliefs was ruling the roost – i.e. my life and making a big old fat mess of it.
It was only once I gave myself permission to be myself and listen to my own inner voice, that my life truly started to change. I got rid of ‘the voices in my head’ – i.e everyone else’s beliefs and opinions’ and started to follow my own inner guidance. I can honestly say that I not only like and accept myself, but I truly love myself just as I am. I love the life that I have created and am still creating. I enjoy fantastic relationships with all the people that matter to me; my husband, my children and their spouses, my step-children and their partners, my grandchildren, my in-laws, my parents, my siblings and my friends.
I still love helping others, I am passionate about it! Nothing fulfills me more or gives me more joy, it’s the reason I started Selfie School and Teddy’s Inc.